She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Randomize
