Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
