Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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