Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
