i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
