i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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