So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
