I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
