you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
