she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
