Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
