i wish starbucks made bloody marys
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
