Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
