Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
