oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you had me at cake vodka
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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