You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
