When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
