Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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