HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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