a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
