I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
