Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We got so high we made milksteak
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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