so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
