Sponge bath it is.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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