I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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