Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
