Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize