even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
