That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
