it was like eating out sand paper
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think I just sharted jello shots
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize