omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
