I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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