How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
