I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Bring me that man meat
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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