Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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