let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
