honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
