Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
