So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
