I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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