hotel room ftw
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
