id be glad to
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
