I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
