i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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