He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
