either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
