I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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