a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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