Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
