After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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