i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
