OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I think my moral compass just broke
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